Bring on the Braineaters

At some point, I promise to lay off the whole zombie thing, but I figured it was a good place to start. I have evaluated several scenarios for the demise of the human race, and I think Zombie Apocalypse might not be so bad. Think about it; do you really want to die slowly from starvation or disease? Do you want to descend into total violent chaos and watch people, with their souls intact, start to turn on each other? Do you want to see the energy crisis hit critical mass when people still refuse to give up their cars, their iPads, their single family homes?

I feel like zombies would be more efficient, and less spiritually devastating. The zombie perpetrators would just be soulless beings. It would not be at all surprising or depressing to see them turn on the unaffected human beings. The number of zombies would increase exponentially and, in fairly short order, there would be no more brains to eat. The Earth could go about rebuilding itself from all of the damage we have inflicted and evolution could bring about a new dominant species that, hopefully, is comprised of better stewards of the planet than our own.

You may find yourself wondering, "Why, Heidi? From whence comes this brilliant revelation?"

Good question, guys. You are, so far, a fantastic audience.

I quite recently returned from a trip to Brazil as a part of an MBA global learning opportunity. I expected an opportunity to see the economic parity between the rich and poor in Sao Paulo. But what I saw, went far beyond what I was prepared for. The streets were littered with the homeless. It didn't matter if you were in the wealthy part of town or the favelas, there were people slumped against the wall on every block. Sure, there was some evidence of drug and alcohol abuse, but many of the people were simply disabled and unable to do manual labor. How can a person with one arm and no college education make it without any assistance from the government or their community?

What's more, we were explicitly instructed not to give them any money and not to make eye contact. Isn't that my decision to make? If I have some money, very little money mind you, and I see someone who has nothing, is it not my right to tip the scales just a little bit toward balance? There is a square in front of a great cathedral in historic Sao Paulo. Homeless people gather there. Some to beg. Some to sell their crafts. Some, I suppose, just don't have anywhere else to be. As a man makes beautiful grasshoppers out of palm fronds, our group is rushed off the square by our guide because it is "too dangerous". I have a photo and a memory, but what does he have for his efforts? Nothing. He may starve in that very space with a palm frond still in his hand while tour guides tell North Americans and Europeans to just step over him and hurry back onto the bus.

So, clearly I saw the poor, but what of the rich? You can't really see it on the street. Nobody appears to have much money. A lot of young people are selling art or busking for money. Those in the middle class don't generally have cars or own decent houses. The city infrastructure cannot support the 17 million people who live there, so the plumbing backs up, the city stinks, and the roads are in a perpetual state of disrepair. So where is the money? Ah, this is where my affiliation with a business school comes into play. I visit the board rooms and factories of agribusiness companies, investment banks, insurance and oil companies. The money was just hiding. These people do not walk the streets of Sao Paulo like the rest of us. These people hide in their offices and meet with wealthy foreigners before driving to their homes outside of the city.

Brazil's largest oil company spends roughly $36 billion US dollars per quarter on operating costs. This generates a net profit that hovers around $2 billion US. Some quarters they experience net losses close to $1 billion US. In the grand scheme of things, they really aren't generating much profit. What they do generate goes to the government and a handful of high level executives while the losses are passed on to small investors and tax payers. In pursuit of these profits, the company is willing to devastate entire towns or areas of natural vegetation to establish massive refineries. They are willing to drill in theoretically "protected" off shore areas where humpback whales go specifically to breed. It's like a giant walking through a village and destroying everything in it's path to get to where it wants.

Clearly, this is not a sustainable model. This system will certainly outlive its usefulness and leave us, along with every other life form on the planet, in a state of total crisis. Competition for resources will reach a fever pitch. The peasants will surely revolt. Armies will lash out in final attempts to control the populace. People will die violent and painful deaths. They will turn on their fellow man to save their own lives because, as a people, that is all we know. If we don't change the system, if we don't embrace the power of collectivism, of cooperation, we will not know any solutions when the current system fails. We will all be sitting on the square with a palm frond in our hand wishing we had given dois reais (about a dollar) to the man who is about to kill us for our last loaf of bread.

So, bring on the zombies, I say. Take your final days with your loved ones in peace and comfort. And then let them eat your brain. Don't fight it, it might be the best we can do.