Ignorance or the power of positive thinking?

This is not especially well-written, but the content is worth considering…

A life without complaints – it’s something I never considered before. Had you asked me a week ago, I would have said that it is not only impossible, but preposterous. A week ago, I would have had a complaint to offer about people who think you can live complaint free. I would have had a complaint for every second of the day. I would have justified all of those complaints with the claim that life sucks, that life is a punishment that we have to suffer through to get to the other side, that pain is a person’s natural state of being. As you can imagine, I have not enjoyed a great deal of mental health in my life.

                Life is certainly not without pain, suffering, and loss. Every one of us will have to walk through fire at some point. But I was at the point of waking up angry – angry that another day had come. In a world where so many feel fortunate to have one more day and so many would give anything to have one more day with those who have gone, I was dreading every step, laboring through every breath. I looked to medicine to help with the pain and shortness of breath. I looked to psychiatry to help with dysphoria and depression. I looked to God to help me find purpose and fulfillment. What I never tried, was to look into my own mind for the change that I needed.

                So, what changed? Did I have some sort of intense spiritual experience? Did I survive a major trauma? Find a new method of therapy? Try the perfect diet? Take a magical cocktail of psychotropic drugs? No. I simply stumbled across a book title: A Complaint Free World. Before I had even started to read the book, my perspective started to shift. I started to think of the possibility of living complaint free. The book challenges us to go 21 days without complaining, gossiping, or making sarcastic comments. Those of you who know me well, know that I would have very little left to say. I started thinking about all of the negative energy that I put out into the world and how much negative energy I draw into my life. What if, even if it required a vow of silence, I could spare the rest of the world my intensely negative thoughts and spread positive energy instead?

                Still fairly certain that I could not have a complaint free day, let alone 21 days, I shied away from the challenge. But I continued to read the book. I complained about the book. I was sure that it was just a scam to sell stupid rubber wrist bands (to be switched from one side to the other each time you complain). I was sure that people who aren’t angry are dumb or ignorant of their surroundings. The book made me downright cranky at first, but the idea kept creeping into my mind. I had to let go of my anger about the wristbands when the author advises the use of a coin for those who don’t want the wristband. I had to let go of my connection between positivity and ignorance when the author addressed the ills of the world and how a positive attitude can inspire action to resolve the issues while a negative attitude accomplishes nothing. Then, I had to accept the fact that I’m not that special. The author indicates that it takes most people 8-9 months to go 21 days complaint free. I have not cornered the market on being surly and disgruntled. There is nothing that makes me less likely to finish the challenge than any of the other grumpy Gussssesseses (I just realized I have no idea how to pluralize ‘Gus’).

                I have decided to take the Complaint Free challenge and I find that my mood is already changing after only two days. I have a St. Michael the Archangel medallion in my pocket and every time I complain, gossip, or use sarcasm as a weapon, I move it to the other pocket. It is simply an exercise in awareness. There is no penalty for complaining, nor is there some carrot on a stick that I’ll never reach. I simply try not to be negative and try to make myself aware of when I am. I am learning to convert anticipation into excitement rather than dread. I am learning to appreciate the unexpected and be flexible to change. I am learning to see the good in people in spite of their flaws. I have a tendency to view things as black and white. As soon as something has a negative quality, it must be all bad. If something is less than perfect, then it’s all ruined. Attempting not to complain has required me to see some shades of grey.

                The only downside of the challenge is that it has made me acutely aware of what a Negative Nancy I have been in the past. I have also realized how many feelings I must have hurt by making sarcastic comments or talking behind others’ backs. I’m not proud of those parts of my personality. The good news is that the Complaint Free challenge gives me a context in which to process those feelings. I am not all bad because I have done hurtful things. I am just a person who has done hurtful things. I’ve also done a lot of nice things. There is no point in dwelling on the hurtful things when I can put that energy into not repeating those behaviors.  It’s more efficient to focus on the nice things and use them as my guide.

                I know that I have only been doing this for a short time, but I really feel like a powerful change is happening. I don’t leap out of bed ready to take on the day, but I don’t feel that sense of dread in the mornings now. My face doesn’t feel like it’s sliding off my skull under its own weight. It feels light. I’m smiling more easily. My legs don’t feel quite as heavy. I have more patience for people. Interactions with others don’t seem so uncomfortable and forced. I feel like I can actually enjoy a conversation rather than pretend to enjoy it while actually wishing it would end as soon as possible. If I can make this much progress in two days, just imagine the change after 21.

                I am coming to grips with the fact that I may actually become a positive person. I may start believing that life is a gift, something to be appreciated. I may start enjoying my life and hoping that it goes on for a long time. Each new day may start invigorating, rather than exhausting, me. I don’t really know this new person, but I’m looking forward to getting there. I never would have done this for myself, but the thought of contributing more hurt and negativity out into the universe was more than I could bear. It’s selfish to make the whole world the sounding board for all of my problems.

                I invite all of you to join this challenge. Just give it a go. It’s ok if you never make it to 21 days. Simply becoming aware of what comes out of your mouth is a huge start. There might be times when you think its ok to complain, go for it. But ask yourself if it’s really necessary before you say it out loud. Take some time to evaluate the situation and see if there’s really anything to complain about before you just spew negativity. Let yourself experience the positive energy that you attract when you choose to contribute positive energy into the universal pool.